Why do I bother trying to wear heels?
I recently bought a pair of fabulous green heels. They are cute and add some colour to my usual grey/black drab outfits. They were also on sale, too. Points for me.
The problem is, I don't know how to walk in heels. I want to know how. I've practiced. I've tried. I'm getting there, but I still generally look like I'm teetering and walking incredibly slowly.
The other morning I awoke to realize that I had no clean pants. Or at least wearable pants that are appropriate for the office. I put on a grey pair of dress pants that were hanging up, and soon remembered these were the pair that had ripped along the seam right from the bottom to the top when they got caught on the spikey part of my bike chain...I clearly don't know the technical word for it... it was ever so helpful that I had reminded myself to sew the pants by hanging them up with the rest of my clothing...on to the next option...a pencil skirt. Oh pencil skirts. They look so great on models, and on actors on TV and movies. I bought this skirt for more professional occasions. Then I gained about 5lbs and realized I can barely walk or breathe while wearing it, and have an indentation across my stomach for the next five days after wearing it. But today, there were no other options. So I put on my pencil skirt and my new heels. I looked so fabulous.
I checked for the next bus - another 29min. and I was already running late for work. There was no way I could bike in this, and I only had to go 1km. It wouldn't be that bad. I grabbed my jacket and work stuff and ran out of the house - well, took many small fast steps out of the house that is.
As I walked along the sidewalk, I began analyzing my practical vs fashionable choices for the morning. Skirt: fashionable, winter jacket with hood: practical, heels: fashionable, pom pom hat: practical, back pack: practical, biking gloves with holes in them: practical....I began to realize I looked like a highschooler meets budding professional.
As I walked, I could feel my shoes squeezing my feet. My hips and butt hurt both from being contained by the stupid skirt and from playing badminton two nights before. I pictured ripping through my skirt and being able to do karate kicks and doing kart wheels and running to the office. I couldn't burst through my skirt into comfy yoga pantsvthough using magical powers . So I continued to waddle. My chest became tight, and it was almost hard to breathe. I felt like I was cheering myself on the way I would in a half-marathon to finish. Almost there, keep your eyes on the end. Ignore the pain, get to the end. Twenty minutes later, I had walked a whole kilometre. *Eyes roll* I limped into the office, and took my heels off as soon as I could. Never again. Until I run out of pants the next time.
I recently bought a pair of fabulous green heels. They are cute and add some colour to my usual grey/black drab outfits. They were also on sale, too. Points for me.
The problem is, I don't know how to walk in heels. I want to know how. I've practiced. I've tried. I'm getting there, but I still generally look like I'm teetering and walking incredibly slowly.
The other morning I awoke to realize that I had no clean pants. Or at least wearable pants that are appropriate for the office. I put on a grey pair of dress pants that were hanging up, and soon remembered these were the pair that had ripped along the seam right from the bottom to the top when they got caught on the spikey part of my bike chain...I clearly don't know the technical word for it... it was ever so helpful that I had reminded myself to sew the pants by hanging them up with the rest of my clothing...on to the next option...a pencil skirt. Oh pencil skirts. They look so great on models, and on actors on TV and movies. I bought this skirt for more professional occasions. Then I gained about 5lbs and realized I can barely walk or breathe while wearing it, and have an indentation across my stomach for the next five days after wearing it. But today, there were no other options. So I put on my pencil skirt and my new heels. I looked so fabulous.
I checked for the next bus - another 29min. and I was already running late for work. There was no way I could bike in this, and I only had to go 1km. It wouldn't be that bad. I grabbed my jacket and work stuff and ran out of the house - well, took many small fast steps out of the house that is.
As I walked along the sidewalk, I began analyzing my practical vs fashionable choices for the morning. Skirt: fashionable, winter jacket with hood: practical, heels: fashionable, pom pom hat: practical, back pack: practical, biking gloves with holes in them: practical....I began to realize I looked like a highschooler meets budding professional.
As I walked, I could feel my shoes squeezing my feet. My hips and butt hurt both from being contained by the stupid skirt and from playing badminton two nights before. I pictured ripping through my skirt and being able to do karate kicks and doing kart wheels and running to the office. I couldn't burst through my skirt into comfy yoga pantsvthough using magical powers . So I continued to waddle. My chest became tight, and it was almost hard to breathe. I felt like I was cheering myself on the way I would in a half-marathon to finish. Almost there, keep your eyes on the end. Ignore the pain, get to the end. Twenty minutes later, I had walked a whole kilometre. *Eyes roll* I limped into the office, and took my heels off as soon as I could. Never again. Until I run out of pants the next time.
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